Post-Wedding Realisation

I wanted to publish the post I shared in W@W after the wedding. I will copy and paste it here.

Our relationship is a roller coaster ride. I was so grateful that it was still happy ever after. There's a lot more to share but I will probably do that if I spare have time. Hahaha!

Hello mga kapatid! We got married last Sept 14, 2018! Ang kasagsagan ni Ompong! Hahaha! I will never forget this super typhoon!

WARNING: SUPER LONG READ.

Maraming salamat sa magbabasa at makakarating hanggang dulo.

I just wanted to share my journey on wedding planning and marriage preparation.  I got engaged in April 2016 and became a member of W@W around June of the same year. I admit that during the first few months, I really enjoyed the wedding preparations. Syempre diba, dream ko ito eh! I told myself when I was 18, since hindi ako nakapagdebut ng bongga, I will make sure na bobonggahan ko ang wedding ko. Haha!

Pero pero pero.. as the time went by, my then-fiance and I had regular fights and arguments - not really on the preps but more of what we had in our relationship. Ang daming naglabasan na issues. And unfortunately, in March 2017, we had to cancel the wedding, inform all our guests, entourage, and ofcourse, all our booked suppliers. Sobrang hirap. I do not know if I was medically depressed, but I was really really lonely. I had to keep the cancellation for about a month to myself, family and very close friends lang kasi I was super embarassed. Syempre ikaw ba naman yung post ng post sa social media about your excitement sa wedding tapos biglang hindi tuloy. I sought professional help here in SG - sa isang Pinoy psychologist - kasi there was a time na hindi ko na talaga kaya. I became suicidal na rin kasi hindi ko talaga alam paano ako magccope with sa situation. Those who knew wanted to talk to me but I really don't wanna share anything to them. I would go to church everyday after work, talk and cry to God after the mass. Dun ko narealize talaga na it was only God who can make me whole even though I was so broken inside. I even went to Sydney alone to prove myself na kaya ko mag-isa. I had so many realizations then - ibang story pa 'to hahaha!

Balik tayo.. pinaglaban ko ang pagmamahal ko sa then-fiance ko. I knew I wanted him and I knew I made a mistake kaya I wanted to change. Malungkot pa rin ako noon, nagkaroon lang ng improvement when we attended the Discovery Weekend seminar. Nakabook na kami ng flight to MNL and booked this seminar before pa ma-call off yung wedding so kahit two against the world ang peg namin, we secretly flew to attend DW. (Hello sa newfound friends ko there: roommate ko na si Steph and sa naghatid samin sa airport RJ and Meng! Wala silang idea nun na hindi naman kami ikakasal pero umattend pa rin kami. Haha!) My then-fiance and I were able to talk about our situation na rin and dun ko na tinanggap na we really need to tell people na hindi na tuloy ang kasal. And dun namin nakilala si Maribel Dionisio, our lead chaplain in DW, and also a marriage counsellor. We sought help from her and nag-attend kami ng marriage counselling sessions sa kanya for how many months. She really helped us with our relationship. We also decided to join The Feast here in SG and was able to be in the Couples Light Group who did journey with us.

Fast forward na tayo, after more than a year, sinabi ng then-fiance ko na gusto na niya kong pakasalan - that was April 2018. Book na ulit kami ng new suppliers. And after 5 months, ito kasal na kami! Best day ever!

Here are my 10 takeaways through my journey:

1. Believe in the Lord that He has better plans for you. Kung ano man yang pinagdadaanan mo, may reason yan. When I was so down, I always put this in my mind, Jer 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." And indeed, He fulfills His promise to me.

2. Kapag may problem, always remember na ang kaaway niyo ay yung problema at kayo ang magkakampi. Hindi pwedeng kayo yung magaaway dahil sa problema. Hahaha!

3. Pinaglaban ko yung mahal ko kasi pinagdasal ko kay Lord na siya talaga gusto ko. Kapag magdadasal ka, be really specific. Hahaha!

4. Yung mga friends, usually sasabihin nilang "hiwalayan mo na yan" o kaya "wag kang tanga, marami pang iba diyan." Siguro 80% ng friends ko, sinabi sakin ito. Hahaha. Naiintindihan ko naman sila kasi ayaw nilang masaktan na naman ako. Pero may mga kaibigan din ako na naniniwala samin ng partner ko. Sila yung mga kaibigan na tumulong samin na magkaayos kami, nag dig deep ano yung problem and binigyan kami ng chance to be the better version of ourselves. Kaya naman, choose the people whom you will listen to, depending on your situation.

5. Communication is one of the keys to a better relationship. Kapag may issue ka, kausapin mo yung partner mo. Kapag may problem, i-discuss niyong dalawa. Kapag mag-uusap, laging mahinahon at maayos. Do not just listen but understand. May technique sa communication. Tinuruan kami sa DW nito.

6. Do not be afraid to seek help professionally. Sobrang naging helpful samin yung marriage counselling. We were able to know each other more.

7. Have an assessment between you and your partner. Minsan kasi inaassume natin na gusto pala ng partner natin yung gusto din natin, pero hindi pala. Pwedeng mag activity to know what are your love languages and needs, rank them, tapos discuss with each other.

8. Never ever share any bad thing about your partner to your family. Kahit yung harap harapan na hindi magagandang actions na magmumukhang masama yung partner, iwasan. Ikaw, nakalimutan mo na yung bad thing about your partner pero yung family mo, tatatak yan sa kanila. Ako ang patunay na totoo yan. Hahahah!

9. Women want to be loved. Men want to be respected. Respect your guy partners, ladies. Wag na tayong maging nagger din. Hahaha!

10. Lastly, love is not a feeling. Love is a commitment. Love is a decision. Alam niyo na yan.

Bow, that's all! Marami pang pwedeng ishare pero hahaba na kasi to, hahaha!  Pasensya na kayo. Pero thank you so much for reading! ❤

You see, I learned things the hard way. I understand why the Lord has let me experience those. Kasi if not (hindi naman sa pagmamayabang pero) wala sana kaming investments ngayon like business, condo, kotse, goat paiwi, farmon, insurance and stocks. Kasi yung savings namin supposedly for the wedding, ginamit namin sa ibang bagay. I want to believe na ni-ready muna kami ni Lord, hindi lang sa relationship namin pero pati na rin sa ibang aspects. Ang galing ni Lord ‘no? Everything happens for a reason talaga. ❤

Don’t just prepare for the wedding, prepare for your marriage. J

Sharing with you our SDE from BlacktieProject.

SDE: https://www.facebook.com/blacktieproject/videos/540183429736573/

#CHApusoniCARLO091418

Chill at Elyu! Php3K for 3d2n all-in!

Hello! I just want to share my quick but very relaxed and fun trip in San Juan, La Union two weeks ago. If you are too stressed at work, lovelife, or in anything, you can go on a weekend trip and just chill along the beach!!! I only spent PHP 3,771 for a 3D2N trip – ALL IN.

If you are staying for the weekend literally, I’d assume that you’ll only spend around Php 2,322. So cheap, lah!

See detailed expenses below.

Accommodation + Food + Activity + Fare

3D2N in ELYU
ITEM	Fee
Vessel Hostel 1N stay	PHP 980.00
Flotsam & Jetsam Hostel 1N stay	PHP 780.00
Cubao - San Juan bus fare	PHP 392.00
San Juan - Cubao bus fare	PHP 392.00
Lunch at Seabay Restaurant (Chicken BBQ Rice Meal & Coke)	PHP 239.00
Snack (Isaw and Betamax / 5 pesos each)	PHP 20.00
Dinner at Tagpuan (Bagnet Rice Meal, Tokwa't Baboy & Coke)	PHP 190.00
Lunch at F&J Kitchen Bar (Beef Tapa Rice Meal with Kangkong)	PHP 160.00
Snack (Fresh mangoes & Ice Cream)	PHP 50.00
Dinner at Surf Shack (Beef Sirloin Burger Meal & 2 bottles of Redhorse)	PHP 348.00
Tricycle (from Vessel to F&J; F&J to Surf Shack)	PHP 20.00
Surfing for 30 minutes	PHP 200.00
TOTAL	PHP 3,771.00

Accommodation + Food + Activity + Fare

*estimate only

*2D1N in ELYU
ITEM	Fee
Flotsam & Jetsam Hostel 1N stay	PHP 780.00
Cubao - San Juan bus fare	PHP 392.00
San Juan - Cubao bus fare	PHP 392.00
Lunch at F&J Kitchen Bar (Beef Tapa Meal with Kangkong)	PHP 160.00
Snack (Mangoes & Ice Cream)	PHP 50.00
Dinner at Surf Shack (Beef Sirloin Burger Meal & 2 bottles of Redhorse)	PHP 348.00
Surfing for 30 minutes	PHP 200.00
TOTAL	PHP 2,322.00

San Juan, La Union is known to be the surfing capital of the North. It is an estimated 4 to 6-hour drive from Manila, depending if you are travelling through a private car or commuting via bus. Nevertheless, NLEX, SCTEX and TPLEX are there to help cut down the travel time.

ELYU!

HOW TO GET HERE

By Bus:

2 days before our scheduled trip, I googled some information if there is a need to reserve bus tickets prior to the travel or we can just go directly to the bus terminal and hop on. Based on the results, bus lines such as Partas, Viron and Dominion pass through San Juan and they accept online reservation of tickets. Partas tickets can be reserved a day in advance (via Biyaheroes) but Viron and Dominion must be reserved 4 days prior (via Pinoy Travel). I also called the hotline of Dominion and the person-in-charge told me that Dominion 1) leaves every hour going to Abra; 2) it passes through San Juan, exactly at the surfing point; 3) morning is usually non-peak time; 4) we can just walk-in at the bus terminal

I met with my friends at Dominion Bus Terminal in Cubao (New York Ave cor EDSA) around 6am. We hopped on the bus going to Abra. The air-conditioned bus’ fare is Php 392.00 / person. It left the terminal at exactly 6:30AM.

          

As far as I remember, Dominion had 3 stopovers during the 6-hour travel time. First at TPLEX – there are portable toilets along the highway, second in a delicacy store which has “pay toilets” too, and lastly, at the terminal in San Fernando, La Union where they picked up passengers.

Finally, around 12PM, we alighted at the Surfing Point – National Highway, Urbiztondo, San Juan, La Union – in front of Vessel Hostel where we will be staying for the first night.

Surfing Point

By Car:

You can easily use waze! Haha! But definitely, you will be passing through NLEX, SCTEX and TPLEX and exit at Urdaneta City, then continue via National Highway until you reach San Juan.

WHAT TO DO

Chill, relax, eat and drink, do a day tour, swim and of course, surf!!!

There are a lot of restaurants, bars and coffee shops along the highway. Name it and they all have it there! The meals range from P100 – P400.

We were supposed to do a day-trip-tour at Tangadan Falls but we got scared to hike because there were rainshowers and thunderstorma the day prior. We were thinking that the traversing might be slippery and dangerous. Anyway, you can still try this when in Elyu! The fee for one tricycle is P400 (for 4 persons) and tour guide is P250 per person. Plus entrance fee/s when you get there.

Learn to surf! You can’t leave Elyu without learning to surf and standing on a surfboard after paddling through the waves. Hire a personal instructor for an hour for only P400. This includes trainer and use of surfboard for one hour.

 

WHERE TO STAY

VESSEL HOSTEL and FLOTSAM AND JETSAM HOSTEL – both recommended subject to own preference!

Below are my reviews / feedbacks for both hostels:

VESSEL HOSTEL

Vessel Hostel is situated along the highway of San Juan, on the other side. Hence, it is not located infront of the beach. But don’t worry, the beach is just a few steps away from here!

Vessel Hostel offers dorm-type rooms for travellers. Their rate is fixed.

           

Quick facts I observed during our stay:

•          2PM check in; 12PM check out
•          They ask for IDs for identification purposes and a P500 deposit per person upon check in. This will be refunded to you upon check out.
•          We booked through a series of emails via gmail and paid 50% of the total amount via bank deposit as reservation fee. The remaining 50% was paid upon check out.
•          You can leave your bags at the reception area (before and after check in/out times)
•          There are showers and toilet outside the hotel. Purpose? When guests need to check out at 12PM, they may still use this facility if are on a whole-day trip (ie Tangadan Falls tour) during the checkout day or you may want to extend your swimming time at the beach.
•          The whole room has two split-type aircons, 2 ceiling fans, room lights and one key for the group. There were 3 bunk-beds or 6 beds in total.
•          Each bed has curtains to have your own privacy, one pillow, one blanket, one towel, one personal lamp, small work station, one locker box and three outlets. You just need to have your own locks though. The hotel offers locks rental for Php 20.
•          The female CR at the 3^rd floor has 5 cubicles (3 shower room, 2 toilets). I guess the male CR has these too?
•          Since this is only a hostel and has shared bathrooms, I am impressed that the shower rooms have heaters, shampoo/soap dispensers, hooks and shower curtains; and toilet cubicles have bidets, soap dispensers, and tissue dispensers!
•          I noticed the fire extinguishers, fire alarms, fire exit and CCTVs in the floor.
•          There is a clothesline to hang our wet clothes on near the fire exit.
•          Continental breakfast is served at the 4^th floor – roof deck / pantry area. During our stay, we had boiled eggs, pandesal, jams, bananas and coffee.
•          You can actually use the roofdeck’s kitchen and utensils but make sure to CLAYGO (clean-as-you-go). If you want to cook, you can do so!
•          They also have a water dispenser so make sure to have a water bottle with you.
•          The staff is very nice, friendly and accommodating. They always flash their smiles at us.
•          Its location is surrounded by a lot of food restaurants so you can never be hungry.
•          They sell t-shirts and jerseys too ranging from P300-P500.
•          The place is very relaxing! I can stay here all day!
•          The whole area is so instagram-worthy!

I will definitely recommend this place to all the “titas” out there (like me! Haha!) I believe this can also be a family-friendly hostel as long as you occupy the whole room. This place is for people who want a cozier and relaxed vibes.

Points that may need improvement:

•          Provide a complimentary lock and key to guests for the lockers
•          Self-service online booking - and payment through credit card / paypal.
•          There was slight water clogging at the shower cubicle during our last day. I suggest that they provide an area for washing of feet to avoid clogging of drains due to sand

Fee per person/per bed is P980 per night.

Here are some photos I took. Enjoy!

 

FLOTSAM AND JETSAM ARTISAN BEACH HOSTEL

Flotsam And Jetsam Hostel is a beach front hostel located along the highway of San Juan. The place is isolated at the far end part of Urbiztondo beach.

The hotel offers various types of room. They have kubo dorm rooms, shophouse dorm rooms, premium AC dorm rooms, and private AC rooms. The only available room left for our group when we inquired was the kubo room, so we had no choice but to stay in a non-AC room!

Quick facts I observed during our stay:

•          2PM check in; 11AM check out
•          We booked the room online via their website and paid through credit card / paypal.
•          You can leave your bags at the reception area (before and after check in/out times)
•          The whole kubo room has 2 ceiling fans, room lights. No room key for the kubo. There were 4 bunk-beds or 8 beds in total.
•          Each bed has curtains to have your own privacy, one pillow, one blanket, one towel, one personal lamp, one personal small fan, one locker box and one circuit outlet. They provided one lock and key for each one of us.
•          The female CR around the kubo dorms and shophouse dorms has 4 cubicles (2 shower rooms, 2 toilets). There is also another female CR which has one shower room and 1 toilet room. Maybe the male CRs have these too.
•          The bathrooms are pretty much decent for a hostel. The shower rooms have heaters, hooks and shower curtains; and toilet cubicles have bidets and tissue dispensers! They provide bar soaps at the washing area outside the CR.
•          There is a clothesline to hang our wet clothes on beside the kubo.
•          Continental breakfast is served at the kitchen area / bar area. This is the best part I like about J&F. During our stay, we had boiled eggs, loaf breads, bread toaster, different kind of jams, fruits, coffee, tea and fruit juices.
•          Since the hotel is quite far from the “main area,” they have their own restaurant and bar at the “Kitchen Area.”
•          Hostel provides a water dispenser so make sure to have a water bottle with you.
•          They sell travel and beach necessities at the reception area.
•          During our stay, they had a Saturday party event which ended until 2AM. We wanted to join and have some drinks but there were too many people! Haha. We left and just spent the night on the other side of San Juan/Main Area. By the way, I was up until the party is over. In fairness, they posted an announcement that the party may end at 2AM.

F&J vibe is very youthful, energetic and loud. Thus, I will recommend this hostel to all the “millennials” and “youngsters” who like crowds and parties! You will surely enjoy this place if you are a party-goer. I honestly don’t find this place to be a “chill place” anymore because it seems to be crowded already.

Points that may need improvement:

•          Provide a lock and key for the kubo room as anyone may be able to enter the room.
•          Clean the personal fans. There’s not much air coming from the fan in one of my friends bunk bed (maybe due to dust?) But mine is working fine.
•          Make sure to clean the lockers before letting new guests come in. I really don’t care what the past guests did inside the kubo dorm or in the place itself, but I found a used condom wrapper at the top of the locker beside our bunk bed. It’s very noticeable because I slept at the top side of the bunk bed.
•          I personally find the bathrooms not enough to cover the dorms near the reception area
•          Perhaps provide a common space /area for guests only? Maybe the place is too crowded because the kitchen area is open to all guests and non-guests.

Fee per person/per bed is P780 per night (Kubo Dorm).

Here are some photos I took. Enjoy!

 

 

 

HOW TO GET BACK TO MANILA

By bus:

Getting back to Manila from San Juan, La Union is so easy! Dominion, Viron and Partas has the same route going back to Cubao. So you will just have to wait for the bus to pass through the national highway, and then hail!