I wanted to publish the post I shared in W@W after the wedding. I will
copy and paste it here.
Our relationship is a roller coaster ride. I was so grateful that it was still happy ever after. There's a lot more to share but I will probably do that if I spare have time. Hahaha!
Hello mga kapatid! We got married last Sept 14, 2018! Ang kasagsagan ni
Ompong! Hahaha! I will never forget this super typhoon!
WARNING: SUPER LONG READ.
Maraming salamat sa magbabasa at makakarating hanggang dulo.
I just wanted to share my journey on wedding planning and marriage
preparation. I got engaged in April 2016
and became a member of W@W around June of the same year. I admit that during
the first few months, I really enjoyed the wedding preparations. Syempre diba,
dream ko ito eh! I told myself when I was 18, since hindi ako nakapagdebut ng
bongga, I will make sure na bobonggahan ko ang wedding ko. Haha!
Pero pero pero.. as the time went by, my then-fiance and I had regular
fights and arguments - not really on the preps but more of what we had in our
relationship. Ang daming naglabasan na issues. And unfortunately, in March
2017, we had to cancel the wedding, inform all our guests, entourage, and
ofcourse, all our booked suppliers. Sobrang hirap. I do not know if I was
medically depressed, but I was really really lonely. I had to keep the
cancellation for about a month to myself, family and very close friends lang
kasi I was super embarassed. Syempre ikaw ba naman yung post ng post sa social
media about your excitement sa wedding tapos biglang hindi tuloy. I sought
professional help here in SG - sa isang Pinoy psychologist - kasi there was a
time na hindi ko na talaga kaya. I became suicidal na rin kasi hindi ko talaga
alam paano ako magccope with sa situation. Those who knew wanted to talk to me
but I really don't wanna share anything to them. I would go to church everyday
after work, talk and cry to God after the mass. Dun ko narealize talaga na it
was only God who can make me whole even though I was so broken inside. I even
went to Sydney alone to prove myself na kaya ko mag-isa. I had so many
realizations then - ibang story pa 'to hahaha!
Balik tayo.. pinaglaban ko ang pagmamahal ko sa then-fiance ko. I knew
I wanted him and I knew I made a mistake kaya I wanted to change. Malungkot pa
rin ako noon, nagkaroon lang ng improvement when we attended the Discovery
Weekend seminar. Nakabook na kami ng flight to MNL and booked this seminar
before pa ma-call off yung wedding so kahit two against the world ang peg namin,
we secretly flew to attend DW. (Hello sa newfound friends ko there: roommate ko
na si Steph and sa naghatid samin sa airport RJ and Meng! Wala silang idea nun
na hindi naman kami ikakasal pero umattend pa rin kami. Haha!) My then-fiance
and I were able to talk about our situation na rin and dun ko na tinanggap na
we really need to tell people na hindi na tuloy ang kasal. And dun namin
nakilala si Maribel Dionisio, our lead chaplain in DW, and also a marriage
counsellor. We sought help from her and nag-attend kami ng marriage counselling
sessions sa kanya for how many months. She really helped us with our
relationship. We also decided to join The Feast here in SG and was able to be
in the Couples Light Group who did journey with us.
Fast forward na tayo, after more than a year, sinabi ng then-fiance ko
na gusto na niya kong pakasalan - that was April 2018. Book na ulit kami ng new
suppliers. And after 5 months, ito kasal na kami! Best day ever!
Here are my 10 takeaways through my journey:
1. Believe in the Lord that He has better plans for you. Kung ano man
yang pinagdadaanan mo, may reason yan. When I was so down, I always put this in
my mind, Jer 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the
Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a
future." And indeed, He fulfills His promise to me.
2. Kapag may problem, always remember na ang kaaway niyo ay yung
problema at kayo ang magkakampi. Hindi pwedeng kayo yung magaaway dahil sa
problema. Hahaha!
3. Pinaglaban ko yung mahal ko kasi pinagdasal ko kay Lord na siya
talaga gusto ko. Kapag magdadasal ka, be really specific. Hahaha!
4. Yung mga friends, usually sasabihin nilang "hiwalayan mo na
yan" o kaya "wag kang tanga, marami pang iba diyan." Siguro 80%
ng friends ko, sinabi sakin ito. Hahaha. Naiintindihan ko naman sila kasi ayaw
nilang masaktan na naman ako. Pero may mga kaibigan din ako na naniniwala samin
ng partner ko. Sila yung mga kaibigan na tumulong samin na magkaayos kami, nag
dig deep ano yung problem and binigyan kami ng chance to be the better version
of ourselves. Kaya naman, choose the people whom you will listen to, depending
on your situation.
5. Communication is one of the keys to a better relationship. Kapag may
issue ka, kausapin mo yung partner mo. Kapag may problem, i-discuss niyong
dalawa. Kapag mag-uusap, laging mahinahon at maayos. Do not just listen but
understand. May technique sa communication. Tinuruan kami sa DW nito.
6. Do not be afraid to seek help professionally. Sobrang naging helpful
samin yung marriage counselling. We were able to know each other more.
7. Have an assessment between you and your partner. Minsan kasi
inaassume natin na gusto pala ng partner natin yung gusto din natin, pero hindi
pala. Pwedeng mag activity to know what are your love languages and needs, rank
them, tapos discuss with each other.
8. Never ever share any bad thing about your partner to your family.
Kahit yung harap harapan na hindi magagandang actions na magmumukhang masama
yung partner, iwasan. Ikaw, nakalimutan mo na yung bad thing about your partner
pero yung family mo, tatatak yan sa kanila. Ako ang patunay na totoo yan.
Hahahah!
9. Women want to be loved. Men want to be respected. Respect your guy
partners, ladies. Wag na tayong maging nagger din. Hahaha!
10. Lastly, love is not a feeling. Love is a commitment. Love is a
decision. Alam niyo na yan.
Bow, that's all! Marami pang pwedeng ishare pero hahaba na kasi to,
hahaha! Pasensya na kayo. Pero thank you
so much for reading! ❤
You see, I learned things the hard way. I understand why the Lord has
let me experience those. Kasi if not (hindi naman sa pagmamayabang pero) wala
sana kaming investments ngayon like business, condo, kotse, goat paiwi, farmon,
insurance and stocks. Kasi yung savings namin supposedly for the wedding,
ginamit namin sa ibang bagay. I want to believe na ni-ready muna kami ni Lord,
hindi lang sa relationship namin pero pati na rin sa ibang aspects. Ang galing
ni Lord ‘no? Everything happens for a reason talaga. ❤
Don’t just prepare for the wedding, prepare for your marriage. J
Sharing with you our SDE from BlacktieProject.
#CHApusoniCARLO091418
