Confession

Last Monday, we had a recollection at Malayan. Nung una, ayaw pa namin kasi ako, personally, nagtataka ko, bakit 1 1/2 hrs lang yung recollection. But since, we were "forced," gora na kami ni Nica and the rest of the Student Trainees.

The recollection was held on the 10th floor. Sa Training Room, to be specific. The room's temperature was quite cold. Tama nga si Sir Ed, malamig daw dun. Maliit lang din siya, siguro 20 people lang yung kayang iaaccomodate ng maayos. So right after we entered the room, the "recollection" started. It was Father Rujin (Im not sure of the name, basta he's from DBTS Makati daw) who did the recollection, or the "talk" I must say.

So after the talk, sabi samin, may confession daw. I asked Nica first if she wants to, nakakahiya kasi baka hintayin nya ko kung ako lang magcoconfess. So sabi niya okay lang daw. I feel that I have the need para magconfess. My last confession was 2 yrs ago pa. So ayun na nga, I talked to Father and enumerated the sins Ive done (lahat ng kinaya kong alalahanin) . Tapos the last thing that I confessed eh yung I am still bearing grudge for the people who betrayed me. I was teary eyed then. Isip ko kasi, nailabas ko sa isang tao yung feelings na hindi ko masabi sa iba. I told him, "Father, I always wanted to forgive them. Kahit na sinaktan nila ko. Gusto ko mawala ung feeling na mabigat kasi alam ko sa sarili ko di ko pa sila napapatawad. And I am not sure if my heart is ready to forgive."

"Forgiveness and justice always come together." this were the words I cant forget during confession. I asked father, "What if they never had the chance to give an apology for what theyve done?" Sabi niya, kung nakikita ko naman daw yung taong nagbabago, thats the time I should forgive them. He added na out of 10 people, 1 tao lang daw yung may guts to say sorry for his mistakes. Thats the nature of humankind.

I wanted to cry infront of him, pero nahihiya ako. Sobrang gumaan kasi yung pakiramdam ko nung sinabi ko yun sa kanya and yung sinabi niya yung advices niya. Naniniwala ako sa Time heals all wounds, mas naniwala pa ko nung si Father na yung nagsabi. And I was very grateful na I had the chance to join the recollection and confession. :)

GOOD VIBES NA LAGI. ;)

THANK YOU LORD! I LOVE YOU!

Work work work

HELLO EYEBAGSSSSSSS! Evaluating resumes! Thats quite hard and time consuming.

10 DAYS OF WRITING ABOUT YOURSELF (Day 10)

Day Ten: One confession

I opted not to post my last post in facebook since there are a lot of chismosas out there. :P So dito na lang sa blogger.

This is not a confession, actually. Pero I just wanna share this.

I like/d (not sure if I still like them or not anymore. HAHAHA) these two guys. Lets just call the first guy as GuyA then the other one as GuyB. Alright, so as Ive said, I liked them. GuyB really has a beautiful face. No doubt girls would get head over heels over this guy. Aside from the fact that he is handsome, I like him because he is a nice person. We dont actually knew each other personally, at first. We were friends through multiply and facebook, and that knowing I was the girlfriend of his friend/schoolmate. However, after my recent break up, I got the chance to talk to him, though there were times that we exchanged comments on facebook. But this time, I asked him something. Until our conversation lasted for like 5 hours? That was the time I got to know him more. We had the chance to share stories about our personal lives. In the end, I know that he was one of the few people who helped me move on. Not only did he comfort me, but he told me things that I should do and not do. Thats why I am thankful that he came during the time I wasnt in a normal condition. I wouldnt elaborate more, but then again, he was a big help! Wala lang, I just find him attractive in his own ways. :">

The other guy, GuyA is not that handsome. But I think, there's something in him that you wana take a second look at him. Maybe because of his angas look? As far as I remember, the first time I saw him, I didnt care. Thats because I was not allowed to make friends with other boys since I was in a relationship back then. (Stupid me to follow those damn fucking rules) Anyhoo, we became friends as time went by. We were not that close. Just recently that I became close to him. Why? First, we were teased by other people. Second, he likes someone else. Oh, before the topic went off, I would like to share the reason I was attracted to him. His personality got a mix of the "I like" and "I dont like" attitude of a person. Thats it. :"> **safe kwento, para di masyado mahalata ang kanyang katauhan. Hihihihi

OOOOOOOOOPPPPPPSSSSS! YEAH, I LIKE THE TWO OF THEM. Unfortunately, they like someone else.

But thats A-okaaaaay! Maybe theyre both not made to be my other half. :) They just serve as my inspiration. :)

10 DAYS OF WRITING ABOUT YOURSELF (Day 9)

Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.

1. :D

2. :")

10 DAYS OF WRITING ABOUT YOURSELF (Day 8)

Day Eight: Three turn ons.

1. Super funny

2. Masarap kausap

3. Magalang (sa lahat, mapatao o bagay)

SUMMER OJT AT MALAYAN INSURANCE COMPANY

After almost a year, I am now updating my blogspot account.

Two semesters have passed. Sobrang daming nangyari. Lahat gusto ko na lang ibaon sa limot. :)

Pero ngayon, present yung pagusapan natin. :)

Today is April 9, 2011. At the moment, Im working as an intern at Malayan Insurance Company. At first, I was hesitant to work there since HRD doesnt look good. Hahaha! Medyo luma yung place but there are signs printed on paper "under construction" all over the place. However, I didnt have any choice because I was too lazy to apply for other companies. In MICO, they were just waiting for my confirmation.

My first week was tiring. Nica and I got to experience the clerical/administrative work in HR Department. I was able to master the art of photocopying! HAHAHAHA! We also answered phone calls, entertained walk in applicants (gave them forms and tests to answer to) and went to different departments dahil sa mga utos. :))

As I see it, HR Department is one of the busiest departments in Malayan. No idle moments. It was like I was standing the whole day doing some stuff, and whats worse is I was wearing high heels! No wonder my feet were aching when I got home.

Buuuuuuut! I feel like we were already working as regular employees. We got the chance to interview applicants as well as call them for a scheduled exam. From that, I realized that what I learned from the course I took were really helpful in the corporate world. It was a good training ground, actually. Thank God, I already had 5 days! 20 to go! :)

10 DAYS OF WRITING ABOUT YOURSELF (Day 7)

Day Seven: Four turn offs

1. Disrepectful

2. Daming babae

3. Hindi gentleman

4. Puro yosi, alak at dota lang alam.

10 DAYS OF WRITING ABOUT YOURSELF (Day 6)

Day Six: Five people who mean a lot.

Hiraaaap naman nito. Marami kasi sila e. :( Pero sige, sila na lang muna..

1. Nanay

2. Tatay

3. Kuya

4. Ness

5. Arcee

10 DAYS OF WRITING ABOUT YOURSELF (Day 5)

Day Five: Six things you wish you'd never done.

1. Was in a relationship at a very young age.

2. Didnt listen to what my parents said about him, about us.

3. Umangkas sa sidecar! (Nakaladkad ako kaya dami ko scars sa tuhod)

4. Expected something that was very impossibe to happen (specific situation)

5. Asked him something. (Yun na lang.Akin na lang kung ano)

6. Made my world solely revolves around him.

Grabe, ang tagal ko naman to ginagawa. Wala ako maisip. Bat ganuuuuuuuuun. O basta, nakafive na ko. :))

10 DAYS OF WRITING ABOUT YOURSELF (Day 4)

Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.

Sa sobrang dami kong iniisip, di ko na alam ilalagay ko. At pagod na ko. Tignan ko kung gagana pa utak ko. Hahaha. Isusulat ko na lang yung mga recent na naiisip ko madalas.

1. Pano ko ba gagastusin yung sweldo ko na tumatiginting na P2500? Shopping na konti? Pafacial sa Belo? Parebond ulit? Dagdag downpayment sa pagpapabrace ulit? Buili ng sangkatutak na chocolates? Anooooo baaaaa? Isa lang. :|

2. Ano kaya magiging buhay ko sa 4th year? Ibabagsak kaya ako ni Atty Bong Lopez? Wag naman sana.

3. Pano ba ko makakapagfacebook kung gabi na ko nakakauwi?

4. Kakayanin ko pa ba gumising everyday ng 4:30am para pumasok? Or magstay na lang kaya ako sa dorm? Kaya lang pano yung baon kong food? Saka wala ako kasama sa dorm matulog.

5. Ano kaya laman ng Labor Code? Lintek na yan, may assignment na bakasyon palang. First day of meeting, recitation agad. Ano kaya mangyayari? Matatawag kaya ako? Kung oo, sana makasagot ako. T.T

6. Kailangan ko na ulit bumili ng bagong damit para sa 3rd and 4th week ko a OJT. Nauubusan na ko. Nakakahiyang magulit. Pero kailan ako makakabili? Saka makakahirit pa kaya ako ng pera?

7. Gusto ko araw araw _____________ si __________

10 DAYS OF WRITING ABOUT YOURSELF (Day 3)

Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.

1. Prove yourself that youre not a cheater.

2. Make me laugh all the time. As in ALL THE TIME. Yung tipong mamatay na ko kakatawa. Hahaha!

3. Share your stories. Im willing to listen.

4. Listen to my stories, as well. I like long conversations.

5. Be nice with my family and friends.

6. Give me letters. Even post its will do. Random things you wanna say.

7. Sing a song for me. Or just sing with me. I dont care whether youre out of tune.

8. Bring me closer to God.

10 DAYS OF WRITING ABOUT YOURSELF (Day 2)

Day Two: Nine things about yourself.

1. Charisse Maye Vinta y Surio is my whole name.

2. 19 years old. Will turn 20 on August 3. =))

3. My second name "Maye" came from my Mom's nickname. (While my brother's second name "Ber" came from my dad's)

4. I only have one sibling, he's an architect working in Singapore

5. My mom is a high school teacher while my dad is a businessman (I guess! Hahaha) self-employed :))

6. I studied at Holy Spirit Academy of Malolos since Prep, then took up AB Behavioral Science (which is actually my first choice) in UST

7. Im 5 feet 5 inches tall, weighs 117 lbs. o.O YES, IM FAT, I KNOW.

8. I love writing something in my journal slash diary.

9. I live with this principle: "I am nice to you only if youre nice me."

10. Lastly, may I say that its hard to enumerate only ten things about myself. I already did a note about myself before. So if youre interested, (only if! Hahaha) this is the link. :) http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=501842077352

10 DAYS OF WRITING ABOUT YOURSELF (Day 1)

Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.

Nanay: Thank you so much for everything. I love you. Thank you sa pagbili ng mga gamit ko sa OJT. :)

Tatay: Thank you so much for everything. I love you. Thank you sa pagbili ng mga gamit ko sa OJT. :)

Kuya: I miss you and I love you! :)

Arcee: I miss youuuuuuu sooooo muuuuucccccchhhhhh!!! Kamusta na? Okay na ba si Ina? Nakalabas na ba siya ng ospital? I wanna see you na. :((( Paki kuha yung usb ko kay Gizelle pag nagkita tayo ah. Love you! :) :* >:D<

Vanessa: I miss youuuuuuu sooooo muuuuucccccchhhhhh!!! Kamusta na? Enjoy ba ngaun since andyan pa si Tita? Hantagal na po natin di nagkikita. :(( Kailan kaya tayo pwede magkita niyan? :( Love you! :) :* >:D<

PT: Maaari pong magparamdam. Hindi po bawal. Feel na feel ko nang busy kayo e. Kamusta OJT niyo? Miss ko na kayo ng bonggang bongga! Josef, huuuuuug tight!

Pugo: Excited na ko sa Saturdaaaaaaaaaaay! Sana matuloy tayo. SANA. At sana maraming kasama. :/

Jam: Gusto ko lang sabihin sayo na ikaw na ang pinakaupdated sa mga sale ng malls. Lahat nasabi mo na sakin! Too bad, di ako nakapunta sa mga mall na sinabi mo. Salamat sa mga texts mo. I miss youuuu! Btw, oorder na ko ng Labor book. Kahit masakit sa loob. Mahaaaaa! :(

Migs: Thank you so much! Hulog ka ng langit! Hahaha! Salamat! :)

Anton: DUUUUHHHH. :))))

**madami pa ko gusto ilagay, pero bat kasi 10 lang. Hahaha! Kaya nigroup ko na lang yung sa PT and sa PUGO. :)

I AM ME.

Because I cant sleep last night, I was able to enumerate the things that some people do not know about me. HAHAHA! Super random nito. Wala lang. =))

• May habit ako na hipuin yung nails ko sa paa (yung sides ng nails to be exact. hahaha!) gamit yung nails ng kamay ko. Hahaha! Weird.
• Grade ng eyes ko: 350 left / 400 right. Pero yung grade ng contact lens and eyeglasses ko, 300 and 350 lang. Kasi nahihilo ko pag tinaasan yung grade ko. So kailangan babaan.
• When I take a bath, pag rinirinse ko na yung hair ko dahil may shampoo, pinapart ko yung hair ko like 6-8 parts para ma-rinse well yung hair ko. :))
• Pag nasa bahay ako at kumakain, nakataas yung isang paa ko. Nasanay lang ako recently.
• Hindi ako madaling makatulog. Naiinggit ako sa mga taong napakadaling matulog para sa kanila.
• Hindi ako nakakatulog sa kahit anong sasakyan kahit gano pa ko kaantok o kapuyat. Di ko alam kung bakit. Tss.
• Pag nagising na diwa ko sa pagkatulog, hirap na ko makatulog ulit. Lets say natulog ako ng 2am, then magigising ako ng 7am, it takes 2-3 hours for me to sleep again. *sigh* Kaya ayoko ng ginising ako kung hindi naman kailangan.
• Since childhood, hindi ako nakakatulog pag nakapatay ang ilaw sa kwarto. Sa dorm, syempre, sinanay ko lang sarili ko kasi kailangan kong makisama. Pero nahirapan ako mag-adjust. Pero pag nandito ko sa bahay, hindi talaga ko nakakatulog ng walang ilaw. **kwento ko lang, I still remember nung bata pa ko, pag natutulog ako sa mga tita ko, since sila yung sanay na lights off, papatulugin muna ko nila at pag sure na silang tulog na ko, saka nila papatayin yung ilaw. =))
• I only have one brother who's 5 years older than me. He's an architect.
• My mom is a teacher for almost 35yrs now, and my dad is a businessman? or shall I say, self employed? :))
• My Nanay, Tatay and Kuya - both my strength and weakness.
• I was a Sangguniang Kabataan councilor. Hindi lang halata. HAHAHA
• I was 13 when I had my first boyfriend. Malandi ako nun. Hahaha! Pero not serious. Nahuli ako na nagboyfriend, so I was grounded for like one whole year. :| So I learned my lessons.
• I was able to walk for 5 or 6 kilometers in McArthur Highway when I was 6 (prep) Yesss, I did it. Sa squatters area pa ah, mag-isa lang ako. Tssss. Lakas ng loob.
• I believe in angels. Nakalakihan ko eh. Dahil nga nung naglakad ako, walang nangyaring masama sakin.
• I wont forget the feast of the Black Nazarene. He's my savior. Its been 13 years now.
• Its not hard for me to talk to people whom I do not know. Ewan ko ba.
• I know if people are lying or if they arent sure of what theyre saying. (I think?) Kasi I feel like I can read their actions. Or maybe, kilala ko na sila kaya alam ko galaw nila?
• Hindi ako diretso matulog, lagi akong parang "hipon" matulog. Nakabaluktot.
• Nung elem and high school ako, matangkad ako eh. Pero ngaun, feel ko nang ang liit ko. Bakit kasi tumigil na pagtangkad ko. :(
• I talk to people kahit na hindi kami close. I greet or say "hi" to people kahit na hindi kami close. I dont care kung mang snob sila. Siguro FC na, pero pakikisama lang siguro.
• I was a class secretary for 4years in high school. Naging secretary rin sa club and intrams.
• Treasurer ako ngayong college. Hahaha!
• Lagi ako napagkakamalan na suplada at masungit. Pero get to know me, Ill prove you wrong. :))
• Im very friendly. Sarap kaya sa feeling na ang dami mong friends. Hindi ako mahirap maging kaibigan.
• I always love deeply.. and helplessly..

Ano pa ba? Hahaha! Wala na ko maisip eh. Dami na din naman niyan. :))

My pre-valentine blog.

Gusto ko lang magsulat. Stress reliever.

Feb13.

11:30am ako nagising. Naglunch kami. Gusto ni Tatay, sa labas kumain since Vday tom, icelebrate na ngaun dahil nasa Bulacan pa ko. Pero syempre, dahil may gagawin ako, sabi ko next week na lang. Naglunch na lang kami ng something special. :))

Nagstart na ko by 12pm. Ive been making chocolates for almost 10hrs. Dami kasi. 300+ pcs yata. Buti na lang, tinulungan na din ako ng Nanay ko. Nakakapagod. Pero nakakatawa na nakakatuwa, kasi narealize ko na ginagawa ko yung mga "gift" ng ibang tao para sa special someone nila. Hahaha! Pero ako, wala. Hahahaha! Bitter ba? Nakakatawa lang. Hahaha! Nakakatuwa kasi naging instrument ako para siguro mapasaya yung ibang tao. :))

Tapos isa pang natuwa ako. Nagpunta akong Graceland and sa bayan kanina. Nung naglalakad ako sa Graceland, katuwa lang kasi 3 couples yung nakita ko magkasama na may hawak na bouquet, balloon saka cake naman yung isa. Tapos pasakay ako ng jeep sa Malolos, lahat yata ng nadaanan ko, nagtitinda ng kung anu-ano for tom. Nasabi ko sa sarili ko, wow valentines na talaga. =)) Paguwi ko galing Malolos, may nakasakay akong parang Jejemon peeps. 3 silang lalaki. Hawak nila tigisa, yung plastic ng 99.9 boutique ba yun. Basta something like that. Tapos may hawak din silang balloon na may bear na maliit na nakastick, narinig ko naguusap sila, "O ano regalo mo sa syota mo?" Binili ko lang ng ganito, pre." "Eh ikaw, ano? "Sana magustuhan niya to" Mga ilang bagay na narinig ko. Nakakatuwa lang kasi parang feeling ko, kahit konti lang money nila, talagang nageffort pa sila para makabili and masurprise yung girlfriend nila. Para mapasaya ba. Wala lang. Nakakatuwa talaga sila. :)

Linya ng mga in a relationship: Happy Valentines Day!

Linya ng mga single: Happy single awareness day!

Bukas, sana maging maganda araw ko. Ordinary lang, pero walang mambwibwisit. :)

Saraaaaaaaap na humiga.

This is for his new girl.

For the sake of having a grade, I NEED to make a poem for the one I hate. So here it is. :))

NO ONE IS TEMPTING, NO ONE IS TEMPTED

You, Potassium, who stole one important part of me

You, who took advantage of my trust

You, who did everything for your plan to succeed

You, who cried in front of my other half

You, who pleaded and begged for his love

You, who have showed him your naked body

You, who desperately wanted him to love you back

Yes, you made it

You ruined the precious three years

You are romantic – romantic prostitute open for everyone

You and my past are matched

You are the trash and he is the trash bin

You can be perfectly shot at the bin

You are the grotesque witch riding in a broom stick

Who suddenly fell in a black shit, face down

Quite overwhelming to see

Your face with a white-lady-look

Now levelled your body's tone

You are like a restaurant, willing to cater everyone

You are like the cherry bomb in Plants vs Zombies,

You need to blast

You are like the pimple in my nose

You irritate me so badly

You are like a curtain

You need to be hanged in the rod

Your eyes are like clothes, need to be stitched

Your face is as pale as an espasol

Lemme ask you,

Is it a “Happy Foundation Day” everyday?

If you were my bestfriend, we'll bond a lot and go in a mall

We'll bought clothes and make-up kits

We'll share stories about anything and everything

We'll take lots of pictures together

We'll eat our favorite dishes

We'll sing as loud as we like as if no one cares

If you were my bestfriend, I will be the happiest person on earth

Cause I know how to treasure a good friendship

Now, I'm lying on my bed

Alone and feeling lonely

It's cold, the blanket covers almost my whole body

My eyes are shut, lips are dry

I'm hugging my pillow tightly

Thinking of the what if's

What if it did not happen?

What if he did not meet you?

What if I gave myself for him to be satisfied?

What if he is still mine?

What if I did not let him be tempted by you?

What if you did not exist in our lives?

Someday, you will realize that what you did was immoral and unjust

You're gonna give an apology and ask for forgiveness

There will come a time that you're gonna ask a favor

Then you will beg me to the point that its a must to kiss my feet

One day, you'll find yourself alone because he'll come back

He'll realize that he really did not love you

Just because he was only after lust

Someday, I'll be a billionaire and I'll sponsor an invention

An invention that would really really satisfy a man's libido

That a man would not need to have sex on his partner just to be satisfied

So that a prostitute like you would not even exist in the universe

No one is tempting, no one is tempted

This time, I'm not bitter, but I'm better