"Loving again..."
Last night, I found myself asking this question... "Am I ready to fall in love again?" This simple question, yet hard to answer, has been haunting me for the whole day.
3 years ago, I never expected that a heart wrenching break up would happen. I used to believe in happy ever after. I believed in you and me. I believed that the journey of love will remain forever. I believed that we'll conquer every problem that would come our way. I looked forward for more food trips, movie dates, months to celebrate, sweet nothings, crazy stuff, etc. I believed in all of these. I believed in my faith. However, everything has changed. I still remember the feeling I had when I found out that I was cheated on. I tried to be calm, yet my heart couldn't handle the hatred and anger it contained. I let all my feelings came out for a week. And after that, I promised myself to stay strong and avoid thinking about what happened. Truth be told, it was one of the hardest things to do. But I assured myself that I'm gonna win this battle. Fortunately, I ruled out. I moved on. I stopped asking myself with why's.
In a span of 3 years, I met different people with different perspectives in life, attitudes, characters and beliefs. My heart battled and was challenged with unknown signals. It tried to understand, read and decode. But still, questions remain hanging inside it. Though of course, I enjoyed this adventure as it taught me a lot of lessons.
3 years after, my heart stood still despite the fact that it hadn't beaten for someone special. Well I guess, it did but it wasn't sure. It does but still, isn't sure. Uncertainty. Still. And yes, uncertainty is one of the reasons why I'm still single.
But now, I came to realize that I shouldn't be afraid to try and believe again. Who knows, this time, it might work. Who knows, this faith I have at the moment might lead me to the right path.
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