A year ago

It’s December 22! Yay! It has been a year since I officially became single. 365 days? Whew, that was quick! :)

Alright, so before I sleep, I’d like to share my thoughts. You may stop reading. This is just non-sense. Hahaha!

A year ago, If I remember it right, I was chatting with a friend through YM. I was seeking for advices because during that time, I was really having a hard time deciding. I was so confused and I didn’t know what to do.

A year ago, I was calling my ex. He was not answering my calls at first. But after a few missed calls, he answered. He said he was tired and didn’t want to talk to me. I remember, I was crying. I can’t remember exactly why, but one thing that’s clear, I was crying SO HARD over the phone. I even uttered bad words so he got mad. I forgot how we ended the day.

The following day, which was the 22nd of December, I remember attending the wedding of my cousin which was near his place. We were exchanging text messages during that time but I knew they were all “cold SMS.” I could already feel the tension, confusion, betrayal, and a lot more of different emotions. I knew there was something bad that’ll happen. Late afternoon, he came into our house. There was dead air when we saw each other. I started crying as he speaks. It was not a bucket of sincere words, I know. But I just let my emotions came out. Whewwwww, waiiiiiiiiit, that was heavy! :)) So Im not gonna have it detailed. Hahaha!

I’m just thinking that I survived the 365 days of being single. I struggled, but still, I survived. Those 365 days were a mixed of happiness and misery, yet I enjoyed my journey! Reaaaaaally. I’ve learned a looooooooooooooot. I gained more friends. I got to love myself more. I had the chance to go to the places I’ve never been. I bravely did what I thought I couldn’t do. I was able to face my fears. I got the freedom I didn’t have for three years. I had the opportunity to be the real me - no limitations, no pretentions. I realized I am deeply and sincerely loved by the people surrounding me.

A year ago, I was in pain. But year ago was a blessing. It made me stronger. It created a better “me.”

Year after, here I am, typing this nonsense shit because I can already feel my singlehood/ness! Whhhhuuuuuut is SMP? Hahahaha! Merry christmas!!!! ♥

Sembreak sentiments

Dear stress reliever,

Marami ako gustong puntahan ngayong sembreak, kaso wala naman akong kasama. Too bad, my friends arent available (all the time?) :( I wanna make the most out of my last sem break, pero di ko magawa. Huhuhuhu.

IM REALLY FEELING SAD! :(



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But to compensate this sadness, I made a poem in the middle of the night. Just sharing!


Bakas ng dinsol

Malapit ko nang masilayan ang pamimitak ng araw
at sinisimulan ko na ang pag-agos
ng mga salita mula sa gripo na
dadaloy sa puting blankong papel na ito.
May ilang kataga na 'kong nabitawan,
tulad nito lamang,
subalit hanggang ngayon,
naghihimutok ang aking utak
at patuloy pa ring tumatakbo
sa paghahagilap ng talinhaga.
Nasasabik na akong masulyapan ang katapusang nais,
ngunit ang malawak na kalupaan ng imahinasyon
ang siyang pumupukol ng malaking hamon sa akin
na isalansang mabuti ang mga bagay na ito
at sa huli, mailathala.

Grades :)

Dear stress reliever,

I am still high with the GWA I got this semester. It's 1.522. Thank You Lord! You are awesome!

Of all the hardships and efforts for this sem, I think, I got what I deserve. Senior year is a very stressful year, so I am just thankful that I survived the first half.

I was just sad that I wouldnt be able to make it for cum laude. :(

Hello October!

Dear stress reliever,

October na. Excited na ko sa mga maraming mangyayari. Finals na namin next week. May plan kami ng 4bes2 to have a sem ender party. Excited na ko kasi inuman with blockmates for the first time! Tapos sem break na. Week after this week, dadating na si Kuya. Im just so excited to see him once again, tapos iuuwi pa niya yung mga gadgets na kumbaga, naipundar niya in less than a year. Then yung plans namin sa pag-uwi niya, excited na din ako kasi sana marami kami mapuntahan. Weeee!

Finals na next week. Good luck to me!

Dear 09/18/2011

Dear stress reliever,

I was able to watch the 2011 Samsung UAAP Cheerdance Competition at Smart Araneta Coliseum. I was with Ninong Eric and bestfriend Jam. Can I just say, I really had fuuuuuuuuuuuuuun! Cheering for UST was such a pride act. "Kahit talo, go USTe pa din ako." That was a great experience before I graduate!

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He's drunk as hell. I bet he doesn't even remember what he said and did last Friday. He's sweet but I realized he's not the right guy I'm looking for.

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I went to Belo for my monthly glycopeel cleaning and my face looks like punched by Pacquiao because of its "redness." I'm loving how it peels, but, uh, it's still red.

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We'll be submitting our thesis this Saturday... And I'm really getting nervous and stressed as well (hello, we have a lot of requirements to submit!) (di lang ako, lahat kami). Lord, help us. We can do this!

My dad, my superhero :)

I'm still my dad's baby girl.

A while ago, I saw a sasamba (Is that how you call a giant spider? With long legs, huge body and brownish black in color?) on top of our water dispenser. I was screaming out loud when I saw that creature! So I hurriedly went to my parents' room and told my dad “Tay, pwede ba patayin mo yung malaking gagamba? Nakakatakot. Ang laki niya. Nandun!” But I actually felt bad because he was already lying on bed and ready to sleep. Adrenalin rush, I must say, that pushed me to go inside their room. To my surprise, he stood up right away and asked me, “Nasan ba?” I answered with excitement seemingly wanted to get rid of the spider, “Nandun sa water dispenser!” So we went out of their room and proceeded to the kitchen area. I was a few meters away from the dispenser pointing the giant spider to my dad, looking very scared like a 4 year old girl.

As soon as my dad saw the spider, he said, “Sus, liit liit, takot na takot ka” then he got his slipper and immediately killed the poor spider. The spider fell on the floor and my dad stepped on it making sure that it died, and trying to show me that I do not need to worry cause he already killed that creature who frightened his little girl.

My dad is still my superhero. :)

Wala lang :)

MASAYA KO NGAYON. HAHAHAHAHA!

Masaya ko kasi hindi ko naman pala kailangan ng boyfriend para sumaya ko. :)) Masaya ko kasi ang dami kong kaibigan na nandyan para sakin. At nandyan pa pamilya ko. :

Pero totoo.. Masaya talaga ko. Walang problema na mabigat, walang inaalala. Maraming salamat Lord! :)

Nakaka-stress ng bongga yung senior year, ang daming ginagawa, pero kakayanin. Kakayanin para sa sarili ko, para sa magulang ko. Lord, tulong na lang po samin ng 4bes2. Sana po lahat kami makagraduate lahat sa March. :)

BongLo ng AB

Gusto ko lang isulat yung mga naiisip ko tungkol sa taong to. Siya si Atty. Bong Lopez, Sir BongLo - tawag namin sa kanya sa UST AB.

Naririnig ko na si Sir Bong sa mga pinsan ko kahit wala pa ko nun sa UST. May dalawa akong pinsan na BES din ang kinuha. Si Ate Jenny at si Ate Princess. Si Ate Jen, nagkwento na siya nun na sabi niya, mapapaaaral ka talaga sa subject niya. Pero sabi niya, mataas ang grade niya. Iba naman ang kwento ni Ate Princess, bumagsak siya sa Labor1. So parang ako, grabe, ano ba gagawin kong aral makapasa lang sa kanya? Natatakot na ko noon.

Pumasok ako ng UST at kumuha rin ng BES. Hindi ko alam bakit pero siguro, nakigaya na lang ako. Puro Psychology at BES kasi course sa angkan namin.

Dumaan ang tatlong taon ko sa college. At ngayon, nakilala namin si Atty. Bong Lopez - ang magiging professor namin sa Labor1 and Labor2.

First day namin sa kanya at first day namin ng 4thyr 1st sem ay hindi maganda. Kasalanan namin kasi hindi kami nag-aral. Hindi kami nakasagot sa recitation sa 1st day.

Nakibalita kami noon sa bes1, sabi nila, hindi naman daw nagrecitation, so natuwa kami. Nung pumasok na si Sir sa room, okay pa eh. Pero dahil may nangyari, nagrecitation kami. At iilan lang talaga ang may hindi grade na 60.

Sa totoo lang, nagplano na kami noon na idrdrop namin ang subject niya dahil sa 1st day incident. Natakot kaming lahat eh. Ayoko talaga magdrop kasi gusto ko nang irisk, may second sem pa naman eh. Pero siguro, sa dami na din na nagbalak magdrop, nakisali na ko. Pero sabi ko nga, "kung hindi uukol, hindi bubukol." At ayun nga, buti na lang hindi pumayag ang Dean's office. Hahaha!

2nd meeting with Sir. Takot na takot kami. Walang lumagay sa first row. Nagtanong si Sir, bakit walang nakaupo. Eh isa ako sa mga tao na nakaupo sa pinakalikod. Nagtanong siya samin mga nasa pinakalikod kung gusto ba namin lumipat. Ako naman tayo agad sabay kuha ng gamit at gusto lumipat sa unahan. Natatakot ako eh. Hahahaha! Pero habang lumilipas ang oras, unti unti namin siya nakilala. Nagulat ako, mabait siya. Sobrang bait. At bentang benta mga jokes niya sakin. Sobrang benta. Well, madali naman kasi ako mapatawa. Pero benta talaga! Hahaha! Sa sobrang kabaitan niya, binura niya yung mga 60 namin na grade at magsisimula daw kami ulit ng recitation next meeting. Nasambit ko aga, "Thank you Sir, thank You Lord"

So yun lang yun.. Kwinento ko lang yung takot encounter ko with him. Hahaha! Pero every week, takot pa din ako kasi every Wednesday, pakiramdam ko, mamamatay ako pag hindi ako handa, pag hindi ako nakapag-aral. Kaya naman sulat ako ng sulat. Sulat nga ako ng sulat, hindi ko naman iniintindi. Yun ang kamalian ko. Ang tanga ko kasi hindi ko inaral mabuti at inintindi. Kaya sa unang recitation ko sa kanya, 70 ako.

Pero mabait siya talaga, promise. Mabait siya.
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Ang ikwekwento ko talaga ay yung nangyari kahapon. Kaarawan ko, 08/03/2011. Umuwi ako ng Bulacan nung Monday kasi nga magbibirthday ako so gusto ko naman makasama pamilya ko. Lumuwas ulit ako kahapon, Wednesday, ng mga 1pm. Nakakapagod magbyahe, sa totoo lang. Hahaha! Hinatid ako ng Nanay at Tatay ko sa crossing. Tapos nagbus ako, LRT, jeep. Pumunta ko sa Wendy's kasi nandun yung mga kaibigan ko, lahat sila may hawak na Labor book at notes. Pagkaupo ko, nilabas ko na din yung notes ko, basa basa. Ayokong nakakaramdam ng kampante pag may quiz kasi dun ako lagi bumabagsak eh. Eh yun ang nararamdaman ko bago yung Labor class. Bandang 5pm, niyaya ko na sila sa AB Bldg. Kinain namin yung dala kong spaghetti, lengua at chicken rolls. Pero hindi sila makakain ng mabuti kasi kinakabahan para sa quiz at recitation.

6pm na. Nagulat kami kasi dumating agad si Sir Bong. Nagbigay agad siya ng quiz. Habang nagqquiz, gusto ko nang umiyak. Wala ako masagot sa tanong niya. Ang pakiramdam ko nun, bakit parang parepareho yung mga tanong na isa lang yung sagot. Meron pang mga terms na hindi ko naisulat habang nagdidiscuss siya kaya hindi ko nasagot. Kinabisado ko pa yung about sa judicial proceedings at sa classification tapos nung nagquiz na, namental blocked ako. @.@ Basta, kasalanan ko, hindi ako nag-aral mabuti. Haaaaaay! Sabi ko babawi na lang ako sa susunod pero gusto ko nang umiyak, sa totoo lang. Hahaha! Sabi ko na eh, ayoko talagang nakakaramdam ng kampante, dun ako bumabagsak. Hahahaha!

Pagkatapos ng quiz, recitation na. Hindi ako makapagconcentrate. Hindi na yata ako nakikinig sa discussion. Alam mo kung ano ginagawa ko? Nagdadasal ako sa Diyos na sana hindi ako matawag ngayon. Sa dalawang oras yata na discussion, puro dasal lang ako. Paulit ulit ko sinabi, "Lord, birthday wish ko ngayon na sana hindi ako matawag. Kahit ngayon lang Lord, sana hindi ako matawag." Nanginginig na ko. Kasi ang dinidiscuss ni Sir, yung Art82 na yun pa yung hindi ko sinulat. Sa Art 82-96, yung Art82 pa nilaktawan ko at yun pa yung article kung saan kumukuha ng tanong si Sir. Naka ilang check ako ng oras sa relo ni Dona, nagdadasal na sana mag-9pm na.

Thank you Lord kasi pinagbigyan Mo ako. Hindi ako natawag! Apat na lang kaming natira na dapat tatawagin pero dahil time na, sabi ni Sir samin at feeling ko sakin siya nakatingin, "Okay lang ba sa inyo na after prelims na lang natin ituloy?" Sagot ko naman agad, "Yes Sir, okay lang po." Kami kasi yung mga mabababa sa unang reci na tatawagin ulit para bigyan ng another chance na itaas yung grade sa recitation.

Sabi ko sa sarili ko, "Promise magaaral talaga ko next meeting after prelims. Magaaral ako. Magaaral ako talaga."

Nagliligpit na si Sir Bong ng gamit niya. Lumapit naman ako agad. Di ko alam kung ano sasabihin ko. Di ako handa eh.

Paglapit ko, "Sir......... Pwede po bang.......... magpa-autograph? Ahmm, birthday ko po kasi eh."

Sagot niya agad, "Sige sige."

Sabi ko, "Birthday message lang po Sir." Abot na sa tenga ngiti ko. Saya saya ko na agad eh.

Tinanong niya ko, "Ano ba pangalan mo?"

Sabi ko, "Cha po."

Sabi niya, "C-H-A?"

Sabi ko, "Opo."

At sumulat na siya. Dahil nasa harap ko siya, baligtad ang tingin ko. Akala ko ibang language sulat niya, hindi pala. Baligtad lang talaga tingin ko. Hahaha!

Pagkatapos niya magsulat, sabi niya sakin, "oh kiss na."

Ako naman, kiss agad sa kanya sa cheek. Pero nagaalinlangan pa din ako konti kasi baka sabihin, feeling close ako.

Dapat ibebeso ko lang, pero sabi ko sa sarili ko, "Chance ko na to, Bong Lopez to eh, edi kiniss ko na siya talaga sa cheek. Sabay sabi ko, "Sir, pwede magpapicture?" Sagot niya, "Birthday ko ba? Bat parang ako may birthday?" Tapos natatawa lang ako. Kinuha ko agad camera ko at nagpapicture sa kanya.

Sabi ko sa sarili ko, "Shit pano ba ko pwepwesto?" Pero wala, nagfeeling na talaga ko, malapit ako kay Sir at nagstretch ako ng arms para abutin yung tagiliran ni Sir. Makapal na sa makapal yung mukha ko pero bakit ba, history yun. Hahaha!

Gusto ko pa nga siya i-hug pero baka sumosobra na ko. So di na ko nag-attempt. Pero nanghihinayang pa din ako hanggang ngayon kasi bakit hindi ko siya hinug! Hay nako, next time ihhug ko na siya!

SOBRANG SAYA KO GRABE. MAY MESSAGE NA SI SIR SAKIN, MAY PICTURE PA WITH HIM, AT NA-KISS KO PA SIYA. BAIT NIYA TALAGA GRABEEEEEEEEEE. DI AKO MAKAGET OVER E. NAGING KUMPLETO YUNG BIRTHDAY KO DAHIL KAY SIR BONG!!!!! DI KO MAKAKALIMUTAN YUNG 20TH BIRTHDAY KO DAHIL SA KANYA. :)

Sa totoo lang, kahit prelim period pa lang, favorite prof ko na si Sir. Kahit sobrang takot ang nararamdaman ko every time magweWednesday na, iba pa rin talaga eh. Ibang iba si Sir. Ngayon pa lang, alam ko hindi ko na siya makakalimutan sa buong buhay ko. IBA SIYA. *pero sana di ko siya makakalimutan dahil lang bumagsak ako. Hahaha!*

SOBRANG SWERTE KO KASI NAGING PROF KO SIYA. Grabe kung alam niyo lang yung feeling na nasa room ka kasama niya, hinding hindi ka lalabas ng hindi tumatawa. :)) LALO NA yung mga words of wisdom na lumalabas sa bibig niya. Iba siya mag-isip. Astig.



Eto yung birthday message niya for me. :)




Eto yung picture ko with him together. Nakakainis kasi bat ang pangit ko dito. Sana nagpapicture pa ulit ako ng isa pa. Hahaha!


I LOVE YOU SIR BONG! I LOVE YOU! :) I WONT FORGET YOU BONG ZEPOL.

Pagbabalik.

Sino nga bang mag-aakala na babalik ang isang taong hindi mo inaasahan? Sino nga bang mag-aakala na sa loob lamang ng anim na buwan, pakiramdam ko, iginanti na ko ng tadhana? Sino nga bang mag-aakala na sa sandaling nagpighati ako, pinilit na kalimutan ang lahat, heto yung isang taong gumawa ng katarantaduhan ay manunumbalik? Sino nga bang mag-aakala?

Nung araw pa lamang na nakatanggap ako ng mensahe sa kanya sa YM, tumawa na ko ng malakas. Sabi ko, "Ay, mukhang nasa akin pa din ang huling halakhak." Naramdaman ko na eh. Naramdaman ko na. Meron siyang gustong sabihin. Nangungulit. Gusto niya akong makausap. Marami siyang mensahe. Di ko sinasagot noong una pero nang lumaon, pinatulan ko na. Makulit eh, kaya pinagbigyan ko. Nagkausap kami. Tama nga ang pakiramdam ko, "kailangan" niya ko. Meron siyang kailangan sakin. Kailangan niya kong makausap.

Ayon sa kanya, wala na daw sila ng babaeng "pinagpalit" niya sa akin. Karma nga naman. Yung ginawa niya sa akin, nangyari sa kanya. Nga naman, tadhana na ang gumawa ng paraan para sa akin. Swerte ko na lang kasi hindi ko na kailangan mag-effort para makaganti. Eto siya ngayon, bumabalik sa akin, humihingi ng tawad.

Dalawa ang gusto kong ipunto ngayon. Una, sinabi ko na sa sarili ko noong mag-confess ako kay Fr. Rujin, matutunan ko rin silang patawarin kahit hindi sila humingi ng tawad. Siguro sa tagal ng panahon, napatawad ko na din sila. Ewan ko, pakiramdam ko kasi nabubuhay ako sa kasabihang "Forgive but not forget." Pakiramdam ko kasi madali ako magpatawad kasi alam ko naman lahat ng tao, nagkakamali. Kanya kanyang antas ng kamalian lang. Pero ako yung tipong tao na hindi marunong makalimot lalo na sa kagaguhang nagawa sa akin. Kahit naman sa kaibigan o sino pang malapit sa akin, ganun ako. Pagbigyan ang pagkakamali pero hindi ko malimutan yung pagkakamaling ginawa sa akin. Ganon pa man, sa kanila, sige pagbigyan sila. Kasi sa totoo lang, wala na naman ako magagawa sa nangyari na eh. Eh ano gusto mong mangyari? Hindi ako nabubuhay sa laging pag-alala ng kamalian nila, kinalimutan ko sa paraang kailangan ialis na sila sa buhay ko pero kailangan kong alalahanin paminsan minsan yun para matuto ako na hindi na muling maging tanga sa kanila, nang hindi na ako muling maloko ng parehong mga tao. Pangalawa, hindi ko na kailangan umiwas sa kanya. Kung may terminolohiya talagang "move on" baka nakamove on na nga ako. Hindi na kasi ako apektado sa mga nangyayari sa kanya eh. Kung dati, nasasaktan ako, ngayon sobrang tawang tawa na lang ako. Natatawa ko sa mga nangyayari. At para sa akin, hindi naman dahil lang nakikipag-usap ako sa kanya, may iba nang ibig sabihin yun. Na pwede na niya ko uto-utoin.

Alam ko sa sarili ko, wala nang pag-asa na mabuo muli kung ano man ang nasira. Kung gusto niya kong maging kaibigan, sige papayag ako, pero dapat pagsikapan at paghirapan niya muna na maging kaibigan ako. Kailangan niyang patunayan na karapat dapat siyang mapunta sa listahan ng mga kaibigan ko.

Masyado nang kumplikado ang lahat. Marami siyang nasaktan. Hindi lang ako. Higit sa lahat, nasaktan niya ang mga magulang ko, pati na rin mga kaibigan ko at lahat ng nagmamahal sa akin. Kung ako lang, wala na lang sa akin eh. Pero yung magulang ko yung totoong nasaktan para sa akin. Pagkatapos nga naman ng 3 taon na magagandang pakikisama, ganun lang gagawin niya sa akin? Sa amin? Eh, kakaiba nga naman. Hinding hindi na maibabalik ang lahat.

Sa ngayon, pakahirap ka muna para maging magkaibigan tayo. Hanggang magkaibigan na lang.

Confession

Last Monday, we had a recollection at Malayan. Nung una, ayaw pa namin kasi ako, personally, nagtataka ko, bakit 1 1/2 hrs lang yung recollection. But since, we were "forced," gora na kami ni Nica and the rest of the Student Trainees.

The recollection was held on the 10th floor. Sa Training Room, to be specific. The room's temperature was quite cold. Tama nga si Sir Ed, malamig daw dun. Maliit lang din siya, siguro 20 people lang yung kayang iaaccomodate ng maayos. So right after we entered the room, the "recollection" started. It was Father Rujin (Im not sure of the name, basta he's from DBTS Makati daw) who did the recollection, or the "talk" I must say.

So after the talk, sabi samin, may confession daw. I asked Nica first if she wants to, nakakahiya kasi baka hintayin nya ko kung ako lang magcoconfess. So sabi niya okay lang daw. I feel that I have the need para magconfess. My last confession was 2 yrs ago pa. So ayun na nga, I talked to Father and enumerated the sins Ive done (lahat ng kinaya kong alalahanin) . Tapos the last thing that I confessed eh yung I am still bearing grudge for the people who betrayed me. I was teary eyed then. Isip ko kasi, nailabas ko sa isang tao yung feelings na hindi ko masabi sa iba. I told him, "Father, I always wanted to forgive them. Kahit na sinaktan nila ko. Gusto ko mawala ung feeling na mabigat kasi alam ko sa sarili ko di ko pa sila napapatawad. And I am not sure if my heart is ready to forgive."

"Forgiveness and justice always come together." this were the words I cant forget during confession. I asked father, "What if they never had the chance to give an apology for what theyve done?" Sabi niya, kung nakikita ko naman daw yung taong nagbabago, thats the time I should forgive them. He added na out of 10 people, 1 tao lang daw yung may guts to say sorry for his mistakes. Thats the nature of humankind.

I wanted to cry infront of him, pero nahihiya ako. Sobrang gumaan kasi yung pakiramdam ko nung sinabi ko yun sa kanya and yung sinabi niya yung advices niya. Naniniwala ako sa Time heals all wounds, mas naniwala pa ko nung si Father na yung nagsabi. And I was very grateful na I had the chance to join the recollection and confession. :)

GOOD VIBES NA LAGI. ;)

THANK YOU LORD! I LOVE YOU!

Work work work

HELLO EYEBAGSSSSSSS! Evaluating resumes! Thats quite hard and time consuming.

10 DAYS OF WRITING ABOUT YOURSELF (Day 10)

Day Ten: One confession

I opted not to post my last post in facebook since there are a lot of chismosas out there. :P So dito na lang sa blogger.

This is not a confession, actually. Pero I just wanna share this.

I like/d (not sure if I still like them or not anymore. HAHAHA) these two guys. Lets just call the first guy as GuyA then the other one as GuyB. Alright, so as Ive said, I liked them. GuyB really has a beautiful face. No doubt girls would get head over heels over this guy. Aside from the fact that he is handsome, I like him because he is a nice person. We dont actually knew each other personally, at first. We were friends through multiply and facebook, and that knowing I was the girlfriend of his friend/schoolmate. However, after my recent break up, I got the chance to talk to him, though there were times that we exchanged comments on facebook. But this time, I asked him something. Until our conversation lasted for like 5 hours? That was the time I got to know him more. We had the chance to share stories about our personal lives. In the end, I know that he was one of the few people who helped me move on. Not only did he comfort me, but he told me things that I should do and not do. Thats why I am thankful that he came during the time I wasnt in a normal condition. I wouldnt elaborate more, but then again, he was a big help! Wala lang, I just find him attractive in his own ways. :">

The other guy, GuyA is not that handsome. But I think, there's something in him that you wana take a second look at him. Maybe because of his angas look? As far as I remember, the first time I saw him, I didnt care. Thats because I was not allowed to make friends with other boys since I was in a relationship back then. (Stupid me to follow those damn fucking rules) Anyhoo, we became friends as time went by. We were not that close. Just recently that I became close to him. Why? First, we were teased by other people. Second, he likes someone else. Oh, before the topic went off, I would like to share the reason I was attracted to him. His personality got a mix of the "I like" and "I dont like" attitude of a person. Thats it. :"> **safe kwento, para di masyado mahalata ang kanyang katauhan. Hihihihi

OOOOOOOOOPPPPPPSSSSS! YEAH, I LIKE THE TWO OF THEM. Unfortunately, they like someone else.

But thats A-okaaaaay! Maybe theyre both not made to be my other half. :) They just serve as my inspiration. :)

10 DAYS OF WRITING ABOUT YOURSELF (Day 9)

Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.

1. :D

2. :")

10 DAYS OF WRITING ABOUT YOURSELF (Day 8)

Day Eight: Three turn ons.

1. Super funny

2. Masarap kausap

3. Magalang (sa lahat, mapatao o bagay)

SUMMER OJT AT MALAYAN INSURANCE COMPANY

After almost a year, I am now updating my blogspot account.

Two semesters have passed. Sobrang daming nangyari. Lahat gusto ko na lang ibaon sa limot. :)

Pero ngayon, present yung pagusapan natin. :)

Today is April 9, 2011. At the moment, Im working as an intern at Malayan Insurance Company. At first, I was hesitant to work there since HRD doesnt look good. Hahaha! Medyo luma yung place but there are signs printed on paper "under construction" all over the place. However, I didnt have any choice because I was too lazy to apply for other companies. In MICO, they were just waiting for my confirmation.

My first week was tiring. Nica and I got to experience the clerical/administrative work in HR Department. I was able to master the art of photocopying! HAHAHAHA! We also answered phone calls, entertained walk in applicants (gave them forms and tests to answer to) and went to different departments dahil sa mga utos. :))

As I see it, HR Department is one of the busiest departments in Malayan. No idle moments. It was like I was standing the whole day doing some stuff, and whats worse is I was wearing high heels! No wonder my feet were aching when I got home.

Buuuuuuut! I feel like we were already working as regular employees. We got the chance to interview applicants as well as call them for a scheduled exam. From that, I realized that what I learned from the course I took were really helpful in the corporate world. It was a good training ground, actually. Thank God, I already had 5 days! 20 to go! :)

10 DAYS OF WRITING ABOUT YOURSELF (Day 7)

Day Seven: Four turn offs

1. Disrepectful

2. Daming babae

3. Hindi gentleman

4. Puro yosi, alak at dota lang alam.

10 DAYS OF WRITING ABOUT YOURSELF (Day 6)

Day Six: Five people who mean a lot.

Hiraaaap naman nito. Marami kasi sila e. :( Pero sige, sila na lang muna..

1. Nanay

2. Tatay

3. Kuya

4. Ness

5. Arcee

10 DAYS OF WRITING ABOUT YOURSELF (Day 5)

Day Five: Six things you wish you'd never done.

1. Was in a relationship at a very young age.

2. Didnt listen to what my parents said about him, about us.

3. Umangkas sa sidecar! (Nakaladkad ako kaya dami ko scars sa tuhod)

4. Expected something that was very impossibe to happen (specific situation)

5. Asked him something. (Yun na lang.Akin na lang kung ano)

6. Made my world solely revolves around him.

Grabe, ang tagal ko naman to ginagawa. Wala ako maisip. Bat ganuuuuuuuuun. O basta, nakafive na ko. :))

10 DAYS OF WRITING ABOUT YOURSELF (Day 4)

Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.

Sa sobrang dami kong iniisip, di ko na alam ilalagay ko. At pagod na ko. Tignan ko kung gagana pa utak ko. Hahaha. Isusulat ko na lang yung mga recent na naiisip ko madalas.

1. Pano ko ba gagastusin yung sweldo ko na tumatiginting na P2500? Shopping na konti? Pafacial sa Belo? Parebond ulit? Dagdag downpayment sa pagpapabrace ulit? Buili ng sangkatutak na chocolates? Anooooo baaaaa? Isa lang. :|

2. Ano kaya magiging buhay ko sa 4th year? Ibabagsak kaya ako ni Atty Bong Lopez? Wag naman sana.

3. Pano ba ko makakapagfacebook kung gabi na ko nakakauwi?

4. Kakayanin ko pa ba gumising everyday ng 4:30am para pumasok? Or magstay na lang kaya ako sa dorm? Kaya lang pano yung baon kong food? Saka wala ako kasama sa dorm matulog.

5. Ano kaya laman ng Labor Code? Lintek na yan, may assignment na bakasyon palang. First day of meeting, recitation agad. Ano kaya mangyayari? Matatawag kaya ako? Kung oo, sana makasagot ako. T.T

6. Kailangan ko na ulit bumili ng bagong damit para sa 3rd and 4th week ko a OJT. Nauubusan na ko. Nakakahiyang magulit. Pero kailan ako makakabili? Saka makakahirit pa kaya ako ng pera?

7. Gusto ko araw araw _____________ si __________

10 DAYS OF WRITING ABOUT YOURSELF (Day 3)

Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.

1. Prove yourself that youre not a cheater.

2. Make me laugh all the time. As in ALL THE TIME. Yung tipong mamatay na ko kakatawa. Hahaha!

3. Share your stories. Im willing to listen.

4. Listen to my stories, as well. I like long conversations.

5. Be nice with my family and friends.

6. Give me letters. Even post its will do. Random things you wanna say.

7. Sing a song for me. Or just sing with me. I dont care whether youre out of tune.

8. Bring me closer to God.

10 DAYS OF WRITING ABOUT YOURSELF (Day 2)

Day Two: Nine things about yourself.

1. Charisse Maye Vinta y Surio is my whole name.

2. 19 years old. Will turn 20 on August 3. =))

3. My second name "Maye" came from my Mom's nickname. (While my brother's second name "Ber" came from my dad's)

4. I only have one sibling, he's an architect working in Singapore

5. My mom is a high school teacher while my dad is a businessman (I guess! Hahaha) self-employed :))

6. I studied at Holy Spirit Academy of Malolos since Prep, then took up AB Behavioral Science (which is actually my first choice) in UST

7. Im 5 feet 5 inches tall, weighs 117 lbs. o.O YES, IM FAT, I KNOW.

8. I love writing something in my journal slash diary.

9. I live with this principle: "I am nice to you only if youre nice me."

10. Lastly, may I say that its hard to enumerate only ten things about myself. I already did a note about myself before. So if youre interested, (only if! Hahaha) this is the link. :) http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=501842077352

10 DAYS OF WRITING ABOUT YOURSELF (Day 1)

Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.

Nanay: Thank you so much for everything. I love you. Thank you sa pagbili ng mga gamit ko sa OJT. :)

Tatay: Thank you so much for everything. I love you. Thank you sa pagbili ng mga gamit ko sa OJT. :)

Kuya: I miss you and I love you! :)

Arcee: I miss youuuuuuu sooooo muuuuucccccchhhhhh!!! Kamusta na? Okay na ba si Ina? Nakalabas na ba siya ng ospital? I wanna see you na. :((( Paki kuha yung usb ko kay Gizelle pag nagkita tayo ah. Love you! :) :* >:D<

Vanessa: I miss youuuuuuu sooooo muuuuucccccchhhhhh!!! Kamusta na? Enjoy ba ngaun since andyan pa si Tita? Hantagal na po natin di nagkikita. :(( Kailan kaya tayo pwede magkita niyan? :( Love you! :) :* >:D<

PT: Maaari pong magparamdam. Hindi po bawal. Feel na feel ko nang busy kayo e. Kamusta OJT niyo? Miss ko na kayo ng bonggang bongga! Josef, huuuuuug tight!

Pugo: Excited na ko sa Saturdaaaaaaaaaaay! Sana matuloy tayo. SANA. At sana maraming kasama. :/

Jam: Gusto ko lang sabihin sayo na ikaw na ang pinakaupdated sa mga sale ng malls. Lahat nasabi mo na sakin! Too bad, di ako nakapunta sa mga mall na sinabi mo. Salamat sa mga texts mo. I miss youuuu! Btw, oorder na ko ng Labor book. Kahit masakit sa loob. Mahaaaaa! :(

Migs: Thank you so much! Hulog ka ng langit! Hahaha! Salamat! :)

Anton: DUUUUHHHH. :))))

**madami pa ko gusto ilagay, pero bat kasi 10 lang. Hahaha! Kaya nigroup ko na lang yung sa PT and sa PUGO. :)

I AM ME.

Because I cant sleep last night, I was able to enumerate the things that some people do not know about me. HAHAHA! Super random nito. Wala lang. =))

• May habit ako na hipuin yung nails ko sa paa (yung sides ng nails to be exact. hahaha!) gamit yung nails ng kamay ko. Hahaha! Weird.
• Grade ng eyes ko: 350 left / 400 right. Pero yung grade ng contact lens and eyeglasses ko, 300 and 350 lang. Kasi nahihilo ko pag tinaasan yung grade ko. So kailangan babaan.
• When I take a bath, pag rinirinse ko na yung hair ko dahil may shampoo, pinapart ko yung hair ko like 6-8 parts para ma-rinse well yung hair ko. :))
• Pag nasa bahay ako at kumakain, nakataas yung isang paa ko. Nasanay lang ako recently.
• Hindi ako madaling makatulog. Naiinggit ako sa mga taong napakadaling matulog para sa kanila.
• Hindi ako nakakatulog sa kahit anong sasakyan kahit gano pa ko kaantok o kapuyat. Di ko alam kung bakit. Tss.
• Pag nagising na diwa ko sa pagkatulog, hirap na ko makatulog ulit. Lets say natulog ako ng 2am, then magigising ako ng 7am, it takes 2-3 hours for me to sleep again. *sigh* Kaya ayoko ng ginising ako kung hindi naman kailangan.
• Since childhood, hindi ako nakakatulog pag nakapatay ang ilaw sa kwarto. Sa dorm, syempre, sinanay ko lang sarili ko kasi kailangan kong makisama. Pero nahirapan ako mag-adjust. Pero pag nandito ko sa bahay, hindi talaga ko nakakatulog ng walang ilaw. **kwento ko lang, I still remember nung bata pa ko, pag natutulog ako sa mga tita ko, since sila yung sanay na lights off, papatulugin muna ko nila at pag sure na silang tulog na ko, saka nila papatayin yung ilaw. =))
• I only have one brother who's 5 years older than me. He's an architect.
• My mom is a teacher for almost 35yrs now, and my dad is a businessman? or shall I say, self employed? :))
• My Nanay, Tatay and Kuya - both my strength and weakness.
• I was a Sangguniang Kabataan councilor. Hindi lang halata. HAHAHA
• I was 13 when I had my first boyfriend. Malandi ako nun. Hahaha! Pero not serious. Nahuli ako na nagboyfriend, so I was grounded for like one whole year. :| So I learned my lessons.
• I was able to walk for 5 or 6 kilometers in McArthur Highway when I was 6 (prep) Yesss, I did it. Sa squatters area pa ah, mag-isa lang ako. Tssss. Lakas ng loob.
• I believe in angels. Nakalakihan ko eh. Dahil nga nung naglakad ako, walang nangyaring masama sakin.
• I wont forget the feast of the Black Nazarene. He's my savior. Its been 13 years now.
• Its not hard for me to talk to people whom I do not know. Ewan ko ba.
• I know if people are lying or if they arent sure of what theyre saying. (I think?) Kasi I feel like I can read their actions. Or maybe, kilala ko na sila kaya alam ko galaw nila?
• Hindi ako diretso matulog, lagi akong parang "hipon" matulog. Nakabaluktot.
• Nung elem and high school ako, matangkad ako eh. Pero ngaun, feel ko nang ang liit ko. Bakit kasi tumigil na pagtangkad ko. :(
• I talk to people kahit na hindi kami close. I greet or say "hi" to people kahit na hindi kami close. I dont care kung mang snob sila. Siguro FC na, pero pakikisama lang siguro.
• I was a class secretary for 4years in high school. Naging secretary rin sa club and intrams.
• Treasurer ako ngayong college. Hahaha!
• Lagi ako napagkakamalan na suplada at masungit. Pero get to know me, Ill prove you wrong. :))
• Im very friendly. Sarap kaya sa feeling na ang dami mong friends. Hindi ako mahirap maging kaibigan.
• I always love deeply.. and helplessly..

Ano pa ba? Hahaha! Wala na ko maisip eh. Dami na din naman niyan. :))

My pre-valentine blog.

Gusto ko lang magsulat. Stress reliever.

Feb13.

11:30am ako nagising. Naglunch kami. Gusto ni Tatay, sa labas kumain since Vday tom, icelebrate na ngaun dahil nasa Bulacan pa ko. Pero syempre, dahil may gagawin ako, sabi ko next week na lang. Naglunch na lang kami ng something special. :))

Nagstart na ko by 12pm. Ive been making chocolates for almost 10hrs. Dami kasi. 300+ pcs yata. Buti na lang, tinulungan na din ako ng Nanay ko. Nakakapagod. Pero nakakatawa na nakakatuwa, kasi narealize ko na ginagawa ko yung mga "gift" ng ibang tao para sa special someone nila. Hahaha! Pero ako, wala. Hahahaha! Bitter ba? Nakakatawa lang. Hahaha! Nakakatuwa kasi naging instrument ako para siguro mapasaya yung ibang tao. :))

Tapos isa pang natuwa ako. Nagpunta akong Graceland and sa bayan kanina. Nung naglalakad ako sa Graceland, katuwa lang kasi 3 couples yung nakita ko magkasama na may hawak na bouquet, balloon saka cake naman yung isa. Tapos pasakay ako ng jeep sa Malolos, lahat yata ng nadaanan ko, nagtitinda ng kung anu-ano for tom. Nasabi ko sa sarili ko, wow valentines na talaga. =)) Paguwi ko galing Malolos, may nakasakay akong parang Jejemon peeps. 3 silang lalaki. Hawak nila tigisa, yung plastic ng 99.9 boutique ba yun. Basta something like that. Tapos may hawak din silang balloon na may bear na maliit na nakastick, narinig ko naguusap sila, "O ano regalo mo sa syota mo?" Binili ko lang ng ganito, pre." "Eh ikaw, ano? "Sana magustuhan niya to" Mga ilang bagay na narinig ko. Nakakatuwa lang kasi parang feeling ko, kahit konti lang money nila, talagang nageffort pa sila para makabili and masurprise yung girlfriend nila. Para mapasaya ba. Wala lang. Nakakatuwa talaga sila. :)

Linya ng mga in a relationship: Happy Valentines Day!

Linya ng mga single: Happy single awareness day!

Bukas, sana maging maganda araw ko. Ordinary lang, pero walang mambwibwisit. :)

Saraaaaaaaap na humiga.

This is for his new girl.

For the sake of having a grade, I NEED to make a poem for the one I hate. So here it is. :))

NO ONE IS TEMPTING, NO ONE IS TEMPTED

You, Potassium, who stole one important part of me

You, who took advantage of my trust

You, who did everything for your plan to succeed

You, who cried in front of my other half

You, who pleaded and begged for his love

You, who have showed him your naked body

You, who desperately wanted him to love you back

Yes, you made it

You ruined the precious three years

You are romantic – romantic prostitute open for everyone

You and my past are matched

You are the trash and he is the trash bin

You can be perfectly shot at the bin

You are the grotesque witch riding in a broom stick

Who suddenly fell in a black shit, face down

Quite overwhelming to see

Your face with a white-lady-look

Now levelled your body's tone

You are like a restaurant, willing to cater everyone

You are like the cherry bomb in Plants vs Zombies,

You need to blast

You are like the pimple in my nose

You irritate me so badly

You are like a curtain

You need to be hanged in the rod

Your eyes are like clothes, need to be stitched

Your face is as pale as an espasol

Lemme ask you,

Is it a “Happy Foundation Day” everyday?

If you were my bestfriend, we'll bond a lot and go in a mall

We'll bought clothes and make-up kits

We'll share stories about anything and everything

We'll take lots of pictures together

We'll eat our favorite dishes

We'll sing as loud as we like as if no one cares

If you were my bestfriend, I will be the happiest person on earth

Cause I know how to treasure a good friendship

Now, I'm lying on my bed

Alone and feeling lonely

It's cold, the blanket covers almost my whole body

My eyes are shut, lips are dry

I'm hugging my pillow tightly

Thinking of the what if's

What if it did not happen?

What if he did not meet you?

What if I gave myself for him to be satisfied?

What if he is still mine?

What if I did not let him be tempted by you?

What if you did not exist in our lives?

Someday, you will realize that what you did was immoral and unjust

You're gonna give an apology and ask for forgiveness

There will come a time that you're gonna ask a favor

Then you will beg me to the point that its a must to kiss my feet

One day, you'll find yourself alone because he'll come back

He'll realize that he really did not love you

Just because he was only after lust

Someday, I'll be a billionaire and I'll sponsor an invention

An invention that would really really satisfy a man's libido

That a man would not need to have sex on his partner just to be satisfied

So that a prostitute like you would not even exist in the universe

No one is tempting, no one is tempted

This time, I'm not bitter, but I'm better